


Is That a Challenge?

by Doctor_Discord



Series: The Ego Manor [154]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Jim Chaos Strikes Again, Kidnapping, Panic, This Is STUPID, Traps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:08:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22262344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doctor_Discord/pseuds/Doctor_Discord
Summary: The Jims challenge IllinoisOh boy...
Series: The Ego Manor [154]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1166384
Comments: 24
Kudos: 202





	1. Chapter 1

Illinois lounged in one of the reclining chairs in the living area, staring at the ceiling and deep in thought. It’d been about two and a half weeks since he, Yancy, and Magnum had been dragged to the manor. Illinois wouldn’t deny that it was nice, having a reliable home, but…there a _lot_ of people here. _Sixteen_ others that he’d seen, including Yancy and Magnum. He wouldn’t be surprised if there were _more_ people hiding somewhere. Not to mention, he was getting _restless_. He’d never stayed in one place this long. Well, never stand in one place that wasn’t trying to _kill_ him constantly this long.

“Hey Illinois –”

Illinois _jumped_ , hopping up to stand on the recliner and squatting low. He sighed in relief, shifting into a cross-legged position and reaching for his hat that had flown off his head. “Jesus _Christ_.”

The Jims split in matching, broad grins, exchanging glances and still speaking in creepy unison. “You know your way around traps, right?”

Illinois raised an eyebrow, adjusting his hat back in place. “Uh…yeah?”

One of them – no _way_ could Illinois even _attempt_ to tell them apart yet – nodded as he spoke, both of them backing away. “Good, good, just –”

“We’d like to _test_ your abilities.” The other Jim cut in, exchanging another look with his brother.

Illinois narrowed his eyes warily. “The Hell does that mean?” He split in his own crooked grin. “Is that a challenge? I’m all for a good challenge.”

Somehow, the Jims’ twin grins grew even _creepier_. “ _Excellent_.”

And then they were gone.

Illinois blinked, scrambling of the armchair. He was literally _just_ staring at them, _what the_ –

And he promptly rolled his eyes when he spotted them giggling behind the couch.


	2. Chapter 2

_Boy_ did Illinois regret goading the Jims.

“ _Magnum!_ Magnum Magnum Magnum, you gotta help me!” Illinois raced up the stairs to the second floor, _launching_ himself onto the pirate’s back and causing him to stumble, but Illinois didn’t quite care as he scrambled up Magnum’s body, sitting on his shoulders and clinging to his hat desperately, warily glancing around. “ _Why_ did no one warn me that the Jims were a _menace?!_ ”

Magnum raised an eyebrow, continuing his way down the hall now that he’d caught his balance with his new hitchhiker. “They’re not _that_ bad. What did they do that makes ye think that?”

Illinois narrowed his eyes, twisting to glance behind him to check if they were being followed. “They set traps up all over the manor! _Traps_ , Magnum, who the fuck _does_ that?! I had to cut Yancy and Reynolds free from a net earlier! They’re trying to catch me, and I don’t want to know what they do if they succeed!”

Magnum rolled his eyes, idly picking at the scar under his eye. “I doubt they’re after _you_ specifically.”

Illinois seized up on Magnum’s shoulders, unintentionally strangling him a little with his legs. “Oh no? So I suppose the cryptic, suspicious conversation I had with them this morning is null?!” At that moment, Magnum’s left leg suddenly shot into the air, a lasso of thick roped wrapped around the tree trunk he called a peg leg, the rest of the rope suddenly visible pulled rigid up towards the ceiling. Magnum stumbled, hopping a few steps on one foot (trunk? tree?) with a startled cry, and Illinois let out a high-pitched whine. “ _See!_ Fucking _everywhere!_ ”

Magnum shook his leg free of the rope, easily slipping the sea-smoothed wood free, and stumbled forward a few steps. He scowled a bit. “If that’s the case, then perhaps yer bad luck, Illinois.”

Illinois stiffened. “What is that supposed to – Hey _hey! Magnum! HEY!_ ”

Magnum reached behind himself, hands gripped Illinois’ sides and heaving him off his shoulders, easily swinging him over his own head and dangling Illinois upside down in front of him. Illinois spat curses, kicking wildly as his hat dropped to the floor. “ _MAGNUM!_ Put me _down!_ ”

Magnum smirked, and promptly dropped him.

“ _Ow!_ ” Illinois flopped gracelessly onto his back, and pushed himself upright. He snatched his hat, grumbling under his breath as he fitted it back on his head. He pointed dramatically at Magnum, hissing through his teeth. “ _Betrayer!_ ”

Magnum rolled his eyes, scratching at his beard. “Are ye done?”

Illinois huffed, scrambling to his feet. “No I’m not _done!_ I need _help!_ They –”

He took a step back, and suddenly he was upside-down again, dangling from the ceiling by the newly visible rope wrapped tight around both his ankles. Illinois scowled, attempting to kick out and only succeeding in making his body sway. “Oh _come on!_ ”

Magnum let out a hearty laugh as Illinois struggled, adjusting his own hat – as Illinois had knocked it rather askew. He opened his mouth to say something, but then a gasp rang through the air, and Illinois stiffened, still swaying lightly.

“Did we get him, Jim?!”

“I think we did, Jim!”

The twins poked their heads through the railing preventing people from falling down to the first floor, apparently floating _mid-fucking-air_ to do so. They _grinned_ at the sight of Illinois, and scrambled over the railing. One Jim circled Illinois, almost _predatory_ , and making Illinois’ skin _crawl_ as the other leaned back over the railing, grinning down. “Thanks, Host!”

“Look, Jim, look!” The stray Jim wandered over, both now standing in front of Illinois. The Jim who had spoken smirked, nudging the other with his elbow. “And you said we didn’t need another trap up here.”

The stray Jim (…CJ? Maybe?) scowled. “Shut up! We caught him, that’s all that matters!”

“Yeah, speaking of which –” Illinois crossed his arms, a bit odd feeling considering he was upside-down, but still. “You caught me, yes, _hooray_ , whatever. Now get me _down!_ ”

Both Jims grinned. “Now why would we do that?”

Illinois shuddered, causing himself to sway a little more. “Fine, I’ll cut _myself_ down.” He curled up, reaching for his knife on his belt. He paled a little. “Where’s my –” He let himself drop, and was greeted by the sight of one of the grinning Jims dangling his knife from his hand. And for the first time, Illinois was _actually_ afraid of the Jims. “How the _Hell_ did you get that?!”

“We have our ways.” The Jims with his knife (maybe RJ? Illinois _really_ couldn’t tell) tucked it away again, and planted his fists on his hips. “Right! Time to finish this up!”

Illinois paled, as much as he could with all his blood rushing to his head. “What does that mean?!” He turned to face Magnum as the Jims disappeared into one of the nearby abandoned rooms. “Magnum?! Are you not gonna help me?!”

Magnum smirked a little. “I think you’ve got yerself handled, bein’ a grand adventurer and all.” He patted Illinois’ leg, and turned to head down the stairs, disappearing from view.

Illinois let out a distressed whine, curling up again and attempting to pick at the knot in the ropes. He fought when there were suddenly hands pulling his away, but then more rope was being looped around his wrists, tying them tightly together. “Hey Jim! Can you cut the other rope? He’s good over here, I’m gonna get the… _other_ stuff.”

“Sure thing, Jim!”

As the Jim who was probably RJ sawed through the rope suspending Illinois with his own knife, Illinois desperately picked at the knot tying his wrists together with his teeth. He was getting a bit dizzy, upside-down like this, his breathing getting shallower. And _whatever_ knot most-likely-CJ used – unlike _anything_ Illinois had seen before – _refused_ to budge, and Illinoi whined, partially listening as probably-CJ barged into Dr. Iplier’s office. “Heyyy, Dr. Iplier! Can I borrow this?”

“ _Gah!_ What the – where’d you even – _HEY!_ ”

“Thanks, Doc!”

At that moment, the rope snapped, and Illinois fell with a short scream. RJ was quick to sit on his legs and strengthen the knot around his ankles while CJ came bounding over. He sat on Illinois’ chest, pinning his arms down, and Illinois paled when he spotted the roll of duct tape around CJ’s wrist. “Oh no no no, get off! Leave me alo – mmph!”

Illinois tried to kick out, struggling wildly beneath the Jims as CJ shoved some wad of cloth he pulled from his pocket into Illinois’ mouth, quickly followed by _several_ strips of duct tape. The Jims clambered off him in time, grabbing the loose ends of the rope binding him, and hefted Illinois into the air. Illinois let out a high noise, bucking and writhing, and the Jims _grinned_ as they began to walk. “Careful, Illinois. We may drop you.”

Illinois obediently stilled, though his hands were clenched into fists, breathing heavily through his nose. “You know, Illinois,” one Jim began, marching down the stairs. “You’re a bit of a disappointment.”

“Yeah,” he other said, “ _Dr. Iplier_ was harder to kidnap than _you_.”

“And when we did that, he was half dead from sleep deprivation.”

Illinois rolled his eyes with a huff. He squirmed a little in place, muffled grunts escaping him as the Jims hummed some bullshit tune together. As _pissed_ as he was, though…at least he wasn’t _bored_ anymore. With the Jims around, he’d probably _constantly_ have to be on his toes to avoid _them_. Which was…nice. A righteous _pain in the ass_ , but…nice.

Though, those feelings quickly changed when _something_ rang through the manor.

“ ** _JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMS!!!_** ”

Both Jims winced, and Illinois went as stiff as he could.

“…Was that Dark, Jim?”

“…I think so.”

“We’re so fucked.”

“I wouldn’t say that. Lightly maimed, perhaps, but not _completely_ fucked.”

“Fair enough.” The Jim holding onto Illinois’ ankles snickered. “Do you want to stick Illinois in Eric’s bed? I’ll bet you money on how fast Eric will blush.”

“Oh _definitely!_ Just let me grab my camera!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE THIS  
> I LOVE THIS BIGLY  
> GET READY FOR GOOGLE PAIN SUNDAY THOUGH  
> >:D
> 
> Tumblr: doctordiscord123.tumblr.com


End file.
